Talkback with Junk Infinite insights into the cavernous world of Chunk’s Garage & Life in general.

I now know what it was like on the night the Titanic went down..

So there i was, hanging up my mobile phone after getting the fax number for my Primary Care Doctor. I had a mission, to send a form over to the doctor. This form was worth a $300 credit to me, if I had them fill it out and uploaded it to the site within the next day. I hurried over to the printer, moved it into the middle of the room so as to be able to connect the telephone line (yes, I hardly use it for faxing). I loaded the sheet in the top document feeder, just as the picture showed, text facing up! I dialed the number and hit send.... I heard the beeping and the booming, the fuzz/static sound and then......NOTHING. The paper was still sitting in the feeder, waiting to go in. That is when I realized something.. a week before, I had put a picture on the glass to think down. I had taken a selfie and put it in the empty cookie package to foil a certain teen, who always likes to sneak cookies, then pretend like he wasn't the one. Even though the other adult in the house didn't have any, the tiny humans cannot reach and the dogs and cat don't have thumbs. I quickly unplugged the phone line and opened the lid to the printer scanner glass, and there it was in all its' glory.

I once heard God and Heaven described as a coin. Find a coin, hold it up in front of you. Make sure that you are holding it so that you are seeing the "tails" side. Now, lets pretend that you have never seen this coin before, and do not know if there is anything on the other side. I tell you now that indeed there is something on the other side. You are not able to turn the coin to see for yourself, instead in faith you must believe.

So what does that mean? In short, the case for God is this. It is rarely the case that someone would be able to converse with someone who has seen God and returned to convince you. We must believe in God and Jesus Christ, through faith alone. If we believe in God and life eternal through Jesus Christ and it is not fact, what have we lost? If we do not believe, and the only way to salvation is through Christ, we have lost everything.

I close today with posing this to you...have you ever seen an ultrasound of a baby? Have you looked into those eyes or held a tiny hand? You have seen God. Now go tell someone!

A rare interview with Presidential Candidate Sepi

2012 Candidates Impromptu Interview from Bryan W. Stewart on Vimeo.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Comee Commee.." have you ever been told that someone could or would "crush your head before you reached the door?" No? Well I'm not going to keep this all to myself then. Oh and for those that may already know, the Sep™ sit back and relax, it's time to board the way back train.

The FBI Showed up, and it was Epic from Bryan W. Stewart on Vimeo.

One must refrain from "Making the Wrong Choice™" in some instances. I will be the first to admit that this prospect is hard to bear when you have been wronged. I often wonder what sort of story my ex has concocked and spoonfed my daughter. I am sure she has had questions. Why "I left". People that have made mistakes, and we all have, tend to try and color the picture in a way to make them "the good guy". The problem is that you cannot hide from the truth. Sure, you may think that by making up stories and bending the truth, somehow buys you another day of feeling ok about what happened, well. There does come a time when you run out of stories. A day when the truth will be known. I wonder what that day will be like? I am sure that my ex has convinced my daughter that her daddy "left her mommy, or her mommy left her daddy because he "kissed another girl"". It breaks my heart to think for a minute that my daughter would believe that. Ya see the truth is a lot different. Daddy actually tried to look away the times that mommy lied to him about things. Where the bank account went, where she was, the nights she never came home. How many affairs she had. Who what and why men called the house at all hours of the night. Why men were over the house when I was working to keep a roof over our heads. How the final straw was catching you in bed with another man. Oh I'm sure that you would like me to believe that it was somehow ok to have someone in our bed at 1:00am.

You may have left out the fact that when i kicked you out of the house, you had to go to the police three days later and claim that I hurt you. All of this because, your boyfriend's mother wouldn't let you stay there at her house. How that act almost got her Daddy put in jail. It was only a little lie, and besides, she has everything that she needs now.

You see though, I will be able to tell her, when she is old enough to handle the truth. Of course, you may think that it will be tough to prove this, you know after she has been spoonfed years of daddy-hate. Pesky thing about that trial, you didn't count on...trials are recorded and recordings are public record.

..and that $175.00(cost of court tapes) was the best investment I could have ever made. It really hurts me that someone could be that cold and calculating, but I do have advice for those Daddy's out there.

Stay strong for your kids, provide a positive Godly example, be there for your children, encourage them. Never ever speak badly of their mommy. I mean it, no matter what. Keep your cool.

Veritas!
BBoG

So there I am cleaning up the kitchen after putting food down for my two pugs, the pug I am pug sitting for, and my Great Dane, Bruce. These little weasels act like they have never eaten before, even the Dane. They jump about and inhale their food, without tasting or chewing.

On to the real story, so there I am admiring how the pug that I was sitting for was trying to eat the tile off the floor, that is when I heard it. That unmistakable sound of stomach reversal. The Dane had thrown up on the small rug in the front room and was circling the hardwood to lay down another pile. By the time the noise stopped, there were three mountains of warm, bubbling retch! <gagg> I am gagging right now thinking of it! Well I knew that i had to clean it up, the question was with what? I knew that not only would papertowels not work, but I’d feel the warmth of the pile of wretch and probably contribute a fourth pile.

I decided to try plastic bags. I knew that it wouldn’t get on me, that way. I would likely feel the warm mess and puke anyhow, but I couldn’t leave it there to cool. As you may have guessed, If you have or have had pugs, that as soon as they have eaten, inspected each others bowls, and licked the ProPlan atoms off the surrounding floor, they inspect the Dane’s bowl. They noticed that although the “bowl” was empty, there were three piles of ABC Giant Breed Formula for the taking. I thought for a moment to push them away, then I turned away and let nature take its’ course.

In the spirit of disclosure, I shall admit to recording this act. It wasn’t lots of video, but it was all I could get before having to run to the bathroom in dry heaves.

P.S.

They are efficient little buggers! :)

AFTER

GluTTon

OPEN DOORS
AND WHERE WE FIND GOD


"A brief discussion of faith and personal testimony"












I was once very broken. Every single thing in my life was falling down around me. Everything. I was in the midst of a bitter divorce and all of the turmoil that surrounds that. I was in a dead end job. As I looked upward to my future, I couldn't see through the storm clouds. I looked to my past and saw how I was brought up in a loving home. A home. From where I was, I couldn't imagine having my own home. I made to much to qualify for help and not enough to break out of paying other people's mortgages via renting. Many times I had gotton it into my head that I could break out of this cycle. I applied for better paying positions only to have doors slammed in my face. In the rare opportunity that I was given an interview I was promptly told that without a degree, I was not qualified.

So there I found myself, newly married, a young baby and no hope for a future outside of the struggle I have already known. The storm grew more fierce when the marriage fell apart. What little I had, was now taken away, for the most part. Doors were shut as promising careers ended. Although I had friends and family willing to support me, I was too consumed by my situation to notice. For several years, I was torn between emotions of clinging to the things I knew and was used to. Many reconciliations and breaks occurred during that time. This did not improve a thing for me. The only product of this clinging to the past was the creation of a rift between friends and family.

What happened next was a revelation. I turned my life over to Jesus Christ. Things did not instantly get better. I didn't expect them to. What I did do was start to change the way I lived. Day by day I learned to release the grip I had on my past and start seeking the right thing to do. I finally started to repair the connections with family. My mother, who was a strong Christian woman, taught me in all things to pray. Pray without cease. Enter into daily conversations with God. Although you may feel insignificant, God can be everywhere at once, and is more than available to chat. The journey has never been without bumps. It has never been without sadness.

Fast forward eight years. Today, I sat in my home office. Yes, I said it. My home office and re-read an email I sent to my mother and her response. The email was from two weeks before she was killed in a car accident. Even then I questioned God's plan. I was being faithful and waiting, but still was concerned that so many things were out of reach. I was being stretched thin working Full time nights and going to school full time. Often times being up for 25-26 straight hours trying to get through my final two semesters and still worried how I'd ever find a career that would allow me to to find a home with my new wife. I had recently applied to a position that I thought would bring that all into fruition. I was not given the position.

Even at that time, I still would cling to some of the past. To disappointment and let downs. From that moment on, I have totally abandoned that clinging.

Between that November 11, 2007 email and today, I have seen many doors shut. Many hopes vanish and many clouds. Through these times, I turned to God for answers and remained fully able to give over my worries, my hopes and my desires to Him.

Flash to only two years in the future, today. As I write this, I am overwhelmed with prayers of thanksgiving. Every single thing that had been taken from me, has been restored to me in abundance. The most important thing that I have gained was the ability to look back on all those storms and see the role they played.

What doors God has shut, no man can open. and What doors God has opened, no man can shut!

I leave you with this thought: Remember that even when the storms of life surround you, God is with you, He is waiting for you to ask for help.

<>< B

Catching Dog Shit - The best home videos are here

I wonder if Larry (The Pug) really understands how close he came to receiving XXIVII. He has been given several opportunities today to go out and to do his "Business" as it were. As I sat briefly on the couch, I caught him. He wasn't looking out the door and wining, as if to say, "Boy I am so sorry but I need to go out and drop a rotten spike. I know I have had three or four prior opportunities, but I could really use this opportunity to go out now and do it". No, this is not what happened. He circled, not for 20 minutes outside, or even near the door, he went over to the far corner of the room and squatted right there.

The funny thing is, even though I booted him in mid- pinch, he still had enough time to pinch off three loaves. I tell you he is one lucky Pug. This was no accident and he was not penned up for hours without the opportunity to make the right choice. This is a direct violation of house rules.

You may try and argue that he was trying to warn us. FOUL, PISH POSH. I saw no warning. All I saw was complete and utter disrespect. You may be curious why an animal like Larry would do such a thing? Here is the answer and we can draw real-world parallels. There is no deterrent. Without swift justice, there can be no change in behavior.

Larry has proven time and time again that he is D I R T Y. Growing up, dirty animals "went to the farm". In my later years I have come to the understanding that "going to the farm" was code for "Get the pipe", "ride the lightning" or be "put to sleep". Unfortunately for me and fortunately for the D I R T Y pug, my wife will not let this happen. She will be perfectly fine with bear-handing dog excrement with shopping bags and hosing down the Tan Berber carpet with Pet Stain Treatment. I on the other hand am quite upset with the dog treating this house like a toilet.

Although I will not be able to Pipe Larry, he will OBEY.
This is how.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/mB6BWBQ4W30MA

Thank You.

Nancy J. Stewart









Mom,

Thank you for believing in me. Especially those times when I was in doubt.
I wish that you could see me now. It all worked out. I actually have a home of my own, no more renting and moving about. We had our first Thanksgiving here and it was a blessing to have so many friends and family near. We took down our unity candle and it flickered on the table. Before we ate, I said grace and thanked the Lord for all of my blessings. So much has happened in the last two years. I am trying so hard to be there for Dad, but it makes me sad that I cannot be there all the time.

I wish you could just spend one more day and see all that has happend. No more falling asleep in class, no more 3rd shift. Shawn is struggling in school, but I know with prayer and a lot of patience, things will turn around. Corienne is doing great, all A's. Things are actually civil with Jenn and I and it feels good that way. We became members of a new church on Sunday. I know that you would like it there. The Lord is actually there, The church is a reconciliation church, which tries to live out Jesus' radical love through action and compassion. It was very nice to hear the pastor and many parishioners mention that our arrival was answered prayer. I never had doubts that the Lord makes moves for His glory. It seems that the gifts we possess, where just what was needed...imagine that, some God, huh?

I am feeling better now and actually need to go to bed and take my contacts out before they weld in my head. I love you and miss you deeply. I carry your memory and words with me always. I pray that God will always remind me that everything works to the Good, for His glory forever and ever. Thank you for showin me the path.

Your Loving Son,
BB

Sometimes the winds of change blow in. Today was that day. Unfortunately for my nine year old son, Shawn, that day was today. Soon he would find out that his dear father had turned to the dark side of the force. I am by all rights, a card carrying member of the GCU(Good Cop Union). When strife and conflict occur, I am the one to step in and show mercy.

Today was a different day. On my way up the stairs I decided to enter Shawn's room. I do remember daily asking the wee lad if he had a clean room. I remember being specific too. ...
Nothing is laying in bags , or thrown into cabinets and stuffed into holes, right? The answer was never "No". It was "yup" or "lemme check". In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that the duration of the "lemme checks" couldn't have been more than five minutes. As you can see by my snapshots above, It took me at least 20 minutes to fish legos and papers, crayons and gi joes from every hole and crevice in that room. I took a page from my mother's playbook. All the booty was placed on the bed in order to bring attention to what needed to be cleaned. I found papers and trinkits that could never have accidently found their way undernieth and behind his headboard. His bed is brand new and frankly beautiful. It has a cool headboard with built-in book case. I found books under the covers, on the floor behind his bed and in his closet. The books that made it to the book shelf looked like someone shot them out of a bazooka at the bookcase.

It was at this moment that I hatched the plan. He would never expect this in a million years. I spoke of my plans to the BCU(Bad Cop Union) leader, Alicia(My wife) over lunch later in the day. The plan was that I would set my macbook up on the headboard of Shawn's bed. I would aim the iSite camera at the doorway, careful to frame a partial of the mountain of "clean room" in the shot. I then hit broadcast and away it was to ustream.tv.(I love this stuff!!!)

**Side Note. I mean really, 5 years ago, who could have imagined that I would be able to capture this stuff live with FiOS and a Macbook. *** End of Side Note.

So Alicia and I sat in my home office in front of my Windows 7 desktop and had the feed up on one monitor and Facebook on the other. The tension was incredible. When Shawn arrived home from school, he was smiley as always. he even was bold and commented about the aroma of Mom's delicious chilli, which was warming on the stove. I asked Shawn to put down his backpack because I had a surprise for him. I had left a surprise for him in his room. He had to try and guess what it was first. He smiled and guessed a skateboard rack(side note. the stinkin skateboard was under the rubble on his bed, too! funny how it had a nice little home in the pool shed.) I told him, "Good guess, but it's much bigger!" After hearing this I could see him leaping for joy inside. He must have been thinking wow golly, I can't believe this. I have lied my tail off about everything, brought terrible grades home from school and I get a huge surprise!?

I told him that there were rules. He could go up and see, but not touch. Then he had to come down stairs and write on two index cards, what he thought of the surprise and how he felt. The following is a link to the video You may want to skip to approx. 13:20 in the video :



If the video doesn't render properly, check it out at http://www.ustream.tv/lolconcepts

Below you will find the index cards

Above is a diagram of a healthy inner ear. I can only conclude that after spending every weekday sitting at the kitchen table across from my 4th grade son that at this age, damage to the inner ear occurs.

My theory stems from the content of the conversation that appears Matrix-esque, dotted with de ja vu. Each interaction with the boy goes like this;

Parent: "So what's this i see in your bag?"
Boy: "I don't know."
Parent: "I thought you didn't have spelling words."
Boy: "I didnt have time to write them down." sniff sniff
Parent: "Oh and look at this, there is even a need little ink stamp that says "FOLLOW DIRECTIONS"
Boy: sniff sniff
Parent: "...and look at this word...you misspelled it three different ways."
Boy: "I thought it was right"
Parent: "The word is in the question you were answering."
Boy: "I didn't see it"
Parent: "Is this your best handwriting?"
Boy: "No"
Parent: "Why did you do it then?"
Boy:"I don't know"
Parent:"What kind of answer is,"I thought it was good, because she wanted to do it after they all went over to that place."
Boy"I don't know"
Parent:"Did you even read this?"
Boy:"Yes"
Parent:"Go to your room and think about this"

After being lied to time and time again and the boy forgetting something that was explained to him just moments ago, leads to one conclusion...inner ear damage or the need for a surgically installed helmet.

EOT