Sometimes you have to look back and say “It’s been a good run” but it’s time to throw in the towel. At 36 years old, nobody wants to sit down with a head doctor and spill your guts. But it is necessary. It gets old, as you get old.
It is embarrassing to recall to a stranger all the things you do and have done on a constant basis that are not commensurate with your age. The silly songs, the kneeing of the nuts of family members and all other impulsive actions that go along with being ADHD.
Forgetting things, being unable to maintain attention for seconds at a time and foolish noises are just the surface of a much longer suffering. Some find it funny, but it isn’t. It’s an actual disorder.
It is harder when you are someone who believes you are control 100% of your own actions. That’s me. I am sorry for the trouble and headaches I have caused as a result of my actions over the years. I am a walking hypocrite. I have little patience; so I have little room or excuse for my own behavior.
My shout out’s start here: For my mother. An angel and saint. This woman had nothing but love and patience for the kid who was described by some as a discipline problem, incorrigible. Nobody could have had a better mother than I did. She would be proud to know I swallowed my pride and finally asked for help. Thanks Mom for your unfailing love. Dad, you are a trooper! Inheriting your patience level, I would have said that little Jimmy ran away, and hid the fresh dirt mound in the backyard as best I could if I were you.
It’s a bitch when you are self-aware. When you know you aren’t like everyone else, when you don’t behave “normally”.
I am categorized as “high-functioning”. By some’s standards, I have been relatively successful. I have compensated for my deficiencies with specialized routines, reminders and habits that have allowed me to band-aid my shortcomings in order to succeed. But you can only do so much. As we get older, it gets harder.
Here’s to new beginnings.
It is embarrassing to recall to a stranger all the things you do and have done on a constant basis that are not commensurate with your age. The silly songs, the kneeing of the nuts of family members and all other impulsive actions that go along with being ADHD.
Forgetting things, being unable to maintain attention for seconds at a time and foolish noises are just the surface of a much longer suffering. Some find it funny, but it isn’t. It’s an actual disorder.
It is harder when you are someone who believes you are control 100% of your own actions. That’s me. I am sorry for the trouble and headaches I have caused as a result of my actions over the years. I am a walking hypocrite. I have little patience; so I have little room or excuse for my own behavior.
My shout out’s start here: For my mother. An angel and saint. This woman had nothing but love and patience for the kid who was described by some as a discipline problem, incorrigible. Nobody could have had a better mother than I did. She would be proud to know I swallowed my pride and finally asked for help. Thanks Mom for your unfailing love. Dad, you are a trooper! Inheriting your patience level, I would have said that little Jimmy ran away, and hid the fresh dirt mound in the backyard as best I could if I were you.
It’s a bitch when you are self-aware. When you know you aren’t like everyone else, when you don’t behave “normally”.
I am categorized as “high-functioning”. By some’s standards, I have been relatively successful. I have compensated for my deficiencies with specialized routines, reminders and habits that have allowed me to band-aid my shortcomings in order to succeed. But you can only do so much. As we get older, it gets harder.
Here’s to new beginnings.
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Romans 3
21 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Although we may be different. We all possess the gifts of God. He has chosen us and equipped us. Each one of us possess a bag of tools. These tools were made for us by God for his purpose. God doesn't make mistakes, no junk. You may not be aware of your calling. You may even be blind to it. Kind words, a helping hand or a special skill may have already touched a life with the hand of God.
Before feeling like a failure, look first to the one who believes in you even on your darkest hour. You have been chosen by God. Believe and walk in faith, seeking always to to do the will of He who has commissioned you for His Holy tasks.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.