Spray on siding, now peeling off of a house in Grafton VA. Super light bulbs standing dormant in a Whitman MA kitchen light fixture. German made shammy's that seem more waterproof than absorbent in Peoria IL. The unbreakable comb in every junk drawer on earth. What do these things all share in common? They all sport a "Lifetime Guarantee or your Money Back".
The real commonality in these things is simple, the parent company hopes you won't bother to call them on their promise when their product (hereafter referred to as "shit") breaks; or they will be out of business by the time you do. Believe.
I am to the point where I would rather buy something with a 60 second guarantee than a product toting a "promise" of a lifetime guarantee. That way I wouldn't feel like the receiving end of a Spanish Sled when the aforementioned shit takes it's terminal dump in the middle of "guaranteed" functionality.
Comments:
There are 1 comments for "Lifetime" Guarantees
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have learned my lesson when it comes to being delivered the sausage. One year shortly before Thanksgiving I went to the trailer that I lived in to pick up a pan. I was greeted by two gentleman sporting smiles and sharply dressed. I thought for a moment that they were Jehovah's Witnesses.
I was relieved to find out that they merely wanted to shampoo my carpets...FOR FREE
I promptly invited them in and the comment about how my neighbors were rude to the fine gentlemen and threatened to call the cops, slid right off the chip™.
Well, I dare not tell the story in total, as it may take all day. They spend the next 4 hours (That's correct FOUR HOURS) showing me how I couldn't live without this $1500 vacuum cleaner called Kirby. The evening concluded with the gentlemen making a call and getting me on a sweet payment plan for this used, leaking POS. The kicker was the comment.."I'll give you the pleasure the shampooing your own carpets!" As he stole my 3 month old Dirt Devil.
I created a new term for this Douche-Baggery..."Being Kirby'd"
FML